Why Do We Self Sabotage?

When we have a craving that feels insurmountable, it can be frustrating and even a little scary. When all we want to do to is lose weight and feel comfortable in our bodies, but we eat the hot fudge sundae anyway,  the feeling of self sabotage can be heart breaking.

In my mind, when this scenario happens again and again, I believe we have split energy. On the one hand, we want to have a healthy body weight and feel great, but on the other hand, we feel that we need "treats" in our life to feel happy, to brighten our day, relieve stress, help us cope with the mundane and the pressurres of life.

One of my mentors, Geneen Roth, once wrote that it's not so much that we really want the hot fudge sundae, but more that we want our lives to to hot fudge sundaes! I feel this is symbolic of how most people live quiet lives of desperation and therefore, when faced with some delicious sweetness with a bliss point that is off the charts, then it"s sure hard to resist.

Truth is, whether we are aware of it or not, most of us simply need and want the hot fudge sundae in our lives. I know I did. As a teen and all through my twenties, Icouldn't get enough. I was literally addicted to ice-cream and hot fudge. I simply couldn't turn one down and often I would seek out a McDonalds in whatever city I was in, just so I could get my fix.

If you have ever hunted down certain foods when you have an insatiable craving, you can re;ate to the frenzy of the hunt. I often used to blame it on PMS, to justify my actions, until I realized acted tjis way more than  a few days out of the month. Having said that, I have always been "hormonally challenged". I didn't know it at the time, but I was also suffering with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which i found out years later is caused, essentially, by insulin resistance from excess sugar?carbohydrate consumption.

It's funny to reflect on nowadays, but one of my casual jobs while I was at school was working in an ice-cream shop called Norgen Vas (very similar to Haagen Das). Anyway, this shop had the most amazing hot fudge sauce I had ever tasted. I used to love this job. I actually looked forward to it because, during my break at work, I would fill a small cup of the mouth watering, warm silky chocolate fudge and simply devour it, minus the ice-cream, almost to the point of feeling sick. Now, years later, I have to laugh. And yet I never stopped to question why this sauce had such power over me!

You see, in hindsight they say we have 20/20 vision, and now I believe that sometimes we think we need these treats because without consuming them, our lives would  be as good. In order to "let go" of filling ourselves with excess sugar we don't need, we truly need to be convinced, deep down to our core, that life will be just as rosy without the excessive consumption of  whatever your sweet or savoury kryptonite may be.

When it comes to self-sabotaging behaviours, rather than harshly criticizing yourself, I prefer you to simply observe, without judgement, and don't miss the lesson. Every perceived slip up is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and to go deeper into discovery of your own cravings, which, surprisingly, have nothing to do with food.