Why Lasting Change Happens When We Are Ready

The newest research about change reveals that our brains are capable of being rewired and learning new ways of behaving but that doing so requires repetition, focus and consistency.

​In effect, this means radical self-awareness, from moment to moment, overtime. It means being alert to ourselves and fully awake, rather than in a food trance and on autopilot. We need to fully focus within, steadfastly and stop allowing others to suck us so dry that we lose our ability to care for and pay attention to ourselves in the moment.
If we are sloppy with our eating habits by eating in the car, at our desk and at night after the kids go to sleep, we are using food to comfort ourselves.
The concept of being fully aware in order to facilitate change can sound daunting. Especially because we have jam packed, busy lives and most of us are stretched too thin. To have another ‘task’ piled on top of our already stressed lifestyles seems overwhelming.
Yet, while it takes conscious awareness to pay close attention to our body and food, the ‘effort’ required doesn’t need to be hard or exhausting. It’s simply holding the magnifying glass, steadily, without force.
Although shining the spotlight on ourselves can be confronting. The confrontation of realizing, through self-observation, how we have used food as a coping mechanism is a hard pill to swallow. It’s really important, therefore, to observe ourselves in a non-judgmental way.
Berating ourselves is not productive. Punishing ourselves more, with accusatory self-talk can set us back. Instead, use a kind and compassionate voice, as though we are talking to a child and guiding them to learn a new skill. Falling down and getting back up is a natural part of the process. For many, food is our ‘best friend’ and soothes us beautifully. Breaking up with ‘food as comfort’ is not an easy relationship to let go of.
We can, however, make the process of letting go a positive, even fun game in our minds. It can be fascinating to learn what our triggers for eating (when we are not hungry) are. We can get to know ourselves intimately through simply observing, through mindfulness. What our habits reveal tells us a lot about ourselves. Who triggers us to stress eat? Is lack of sleep a trigger? Are we unhappy in our relationship which cause us to turn to food?
 As long as we don’t judge ourselves. We can start to address the triggers, the root causes of our overeating, rather than use food as a way of coping.   As a way of letting go, we can metaphorically thank our stress eating habit for being the best way of coping we knew, and now we don’t need to do this anymore. Release it. Wave some sage around the room. Release the need to rely on food as a way of coping with life.
We can derive more pleasure with life and our improved relationship with food when we put food in its proper place.
Lasting change happens when we are ready to do the inner work. In the same way that it takes concentration, focus and practice to learn a foreign language or ride a bike, until doing so becomes automatic and we do it naturally.
According to behavioral scientists, there is no shortcut in rewiring our brains. Learning to eat when we are hungry, stop when we are full and allowing ourselves to feel our feelings without turning to food takes focus. And not just one time, but consistently, overtime. When we slip up, as we inevitably will, don’t miss the lesson. Every slip up is an opportunity to know ourselves and our triggers better. With this knowledge, we can learn to preempt situations that trigger us and derive a better plan for coping each time.
Remember, the more time we spend ignoring our food-and-weight problem, wishing and hoping for it to just go away, the more we agonize over our feeling of being a failure. Why can’t we lick this food thing? Why don’t my jeans fit? Why is my face so round? Why are my thighs so big?
Instead, we can invest our time and energy on looking inward, observing ourselves with compassion and without judgement. We simply notice and learn.
I am not special or more disciplined or lucky, the only difference between me and you is the time and attention I spent on developing a new relationship with food. You can do this, too. No matter how many times we try and fail, lasting change is possible. It isn’t luck; its time spent. It’s consistency overtime. However long it takes. And it all starts with awareness. Because we can’t change what we are not aware of.